Decisions, Decisions

Changes come when you least expect it. But change comes in two forms. The first one is the subtle kind – one that stands and waits at your doorstep while you flip a coin and make the decision to either let it in or slam the door in its face. The other kind is the one that’s a lot more brutal and less considerate; it comes without warning and you just wake up one day and everything’s not how they used to be. In other words, you’re left with no choice but to sink or swim. Go ahead, take your pick. Although it’s not really much of a choice, just like how the wind chooses which direction it blows. I dunno. I guess change just comes.

And change did knock on my door that Wednesday afternoon. Of course, it had to wait for me to decide if I was gonna welcome it or not. And welcome it with open arms I will. But it’s nothing like an overnight decision. But eventually I had to give an answer. You know, it’s not a bad omen to really think about something before giving it a shot. Thinking is way too different from doubt. Thinking is a process, a sure proof that your mind is not as dense as you perceive it to be, and that you actually have the nerve to consider whatever options are available. Doubt, on the other hand, is that nagging feeling at the back of your head that maybe, something’s not right or should not be.

So if you ask me if I have doubts about the decision I made, I’d say none. Why? Well, because maybe I knew what I wanted all along; that I’ve made my decision a long time ago and just needed something – some sign or whatever – to fortify that decision. And this could be it. Life’s a gamble anyway, so why back out now? Change is peeking in, and I’m letting it in.