This week’s Friday is my last day with SMART, and for some reason I don’t feel a bit sad about it. Maybe because this was what I’ve been wanting all along – to move out, spread my wings, and breathe. Figuratively speaking.
I can’t help but compare the feeling back when I left the first company I work for after college. The moment I tendered my resignation to my former boss, I instantly felt a tinge of sadness with the realization that I’ll be leaving a lot of good things behind. Aside from the phone-and-headset combo that allowed me to multitask during virtual meetings, a month’s supply of meal tickets worth PhP 50.00, the air conditioned shuttle that took us to and from work, and the ergonomic chair, there were the memories of good times (and otherwise) with people who – in some way or the other – have made their mark in my life. From friends, ex-boyfriends, colleagues, and bosses – it felt as if I never really left even after a couple of months (or years even) following my resignation.
Fast forward to the present, and now I’m about to draft the farewell email that’s almost like a tradition whenever an employee separates from a company. In every company, so it seems. I opt to steer clear of any flowery words and will be careful enough in not trying to sound bitter. I guess it will be pretty much straightforward – kinda like a friend talking to another as if the following days would be just like any other day. But we all know it’s gonna be different from this point. Different, at least, for me.
I can’t help but compare the feeling back when I left the first company I work for after college. The moment I tendered my resignation to my former boss, I instantly felt a tinge of sadness with the realization that I’ll be leaving a lot of good things behind. Aside from the phone-and-headset combo that allowed me to multitask during virtual meetings, a month’s supply of meal tickets worth PhP 50.00, the air conditioned shuttle that took us to and from work, and the ergonomic chair, there were the memories of good times (and otherwise) with people who – in some way or the other – have made their mark in my life. From friends, ex-boyfriends, colleagues, and bosses – it felt as if I never really left even after a couple of months (or years even) following my resignation.
Fast forward to the present, and now I’m about to draft the farewell email that’s almost like a tradition whenever an employee separates from a company. In every company, so it seems. I opt to steer clear of any flowery words and will be careful enough in not trying to sound bitter. I guess it will be pretty much straightforward – kinda like a friend talking to another as if the following days would be just like any other day. But we all know it’s gonna be different from this point. Different, at least, for me.
The last months have been very challenging for me, as an industry practitioner and as a person. As an industry practitioner, there were times when I began to doubt my capabilities in having to adjust in a traditional Filipino setting of a workplace. It’s hard when people around you are glued to the conventional methodologies of doing things; it’s even harder when their conventionality and conservatism suck the creativity and enthusiasm out of you. That was how I felt. And for what? Well, call it a minuscule adjustment in the paycheck. Don’t get me wrong, it’s never always about the money. But I know my self-worth, too. But at the end of the day, you really can’t entirely blame the bosses, because it’s all rooted at how the organization’s culture was in the first place. And that’s the point where I realized I had to get up and do something about my career, even if it meant ushering in a great deal of change and stepping out of my comfort zone.
As a person, this has got to be one of the most emotionally trying times I had to withstand. What do you do when all your life you’ve been in the company of good friends and then one day, out of the blue, the girls in your team start to alienate you? For quite some time, I began to question myself as a person and began wondering whatever’s wrong with me. In the end, I realized that I can’t be apologetic for something I’ll never know I’m guilty of. I did my part to initiate confrontations, but the fact that they won’t open up whatever my fault was and let me get away with is their problem; their loss. They may hate me, gossip about me, and continuously magnify my flaws all they want. They can even spill my secrets if they choose to, I really don’t care now. After all, I don’t want to spend every day of my life trying to please everyone just to fit in and in turn lose my identity in the process. And for the record, I don’t hate them. I’ll just keep in mind that, once upon a time, we were all part of a happy bunch.
Whew, this one’s getting pretty long. In closing, I guess I just want to be thankful for the last two years it has been. There were more good things to it than the bad, and I don’t harbor any ill feelings for anyone. Whoever said that this world is way too small to have enemies was telling the truth. The things I shared in this blog is my way of breathing out some things that have weighed down my emotional side for quite some time. It’s time for some fresh start; a clean slate. And for everything and everyone, thank you SMART. :)
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